By Sudha Hari

As a mother of two boys, I was delighted when my first-born started doodling away when he was one and half years old. He was a happy child at his prep school, loved reading and writing, and was never any trouble to his teachers. But it was hardly the case with my younger one. He never showed any interest towards that pen or pencil lying there, He found a variety of other things to interest him, and when he went to that prep class, I almost lost hope of seeing him ever hold a pencil or a crayon. Well, here's what helped me make him write, with a little help from his school, of course.

Identify the problem

Some five year olds may not have developed fine motor skills. Indications are, a child refuses to hold a crayon for a long time, or complains of pain while holding a pencil, or gets terrified of pencils, crayons and paper.

Though reading and writing are taught in parallel at school, some kids prefer to read more, see more. There is nothing wrong with this, and if they take time pondering over their phonics, just let them be. Writing is a higher order skill, and it is just waiting to happen. Provide more inputs to the child such as colorful story books, board games and word games. Proficiency in reading will prepare them for writing. They will soon start copying down words to perfection!

Some kids are just not ready for writing. And they suddenly start writing beautifully after a few months. Ideally, writing at school starts at six years of age. So don't panic if the child is only interested in looking at the pictures in a book. As long as he's able to use a spoon to feed himself, string beads or plays with clay, he will be doing fine.

Some kids are restless, and cannot sit even for a couple of minutes. Writing is not the only problem for such kids. Even listening to a story may be a problem in the class. In such cases, early detection goes a long way. Talk to his teachers, and rule out any ADD/ADHD problems, these kids will either be very hyper active, or become the classic day-dreamers in their activity sessions. Hyperactivity goes away with age, lack of attention does not. All young kids have a lesser attention span when compared to adults. However, a prep-school setting always helps the teacher identify kids who have learning problems. Identification of the problem helps us provide intervention at this early stage and you will thank yourself for this, when the kids goes to a regular school.

How to deal with reluctant writers

Homeopathy helps kids a lot. Be it a lack of fine motor grip, or hyperactivity or lack of attention, the earlier the better. Apart from that, I have found that the following steps have helped my child a lot, to improve his writing.

1. Improve hand-eye coordination - Encourage the child to play with a bat and ball. Bring various colored beads and ask him to string his favorite colored ones first!

2. Provide exercise to his fingers - Bring out that stress ball and let him press it as many times as he can. Also encourage him to give a firm handshake. Ask him to help you dry the clothes, by fixing them with clips. Make this a fun activity.

3. Start easy - Markers and sketches first, then comes the pencil. Let him doodle or draw circles. Pretend writing is fun time for them, and the first step towards writing.

4. Draw and Write - Ask him to draw people. And of course, he has to write their names. This is real fun. Drawing himself, his siblings, mama and papa and writing all their names (don't worry about spelling, or if he writes letters of all sizes, just praise him and he will be delighted)

5. Rewards & Prizes - Buy stickers of cars, stars or whatever he likes. Give him a sticker on his wrist, back of his hand or cheek. Let him show it off to daddy, or a friend. More writing, more fun stickers.

6. Greeting Cards, Thank you Cards & Shopping lists - Birthdays are a great occasion to bond with the family. Help the child make a personalized greeting card with a cute, short message. How about making him write a small cute, 'Thank You" card to his friend for that lovely Christmas gift? Also you could start writing your to-do list, or shopping list, and ask the child to write his own shopping list on a post-it, and leave it on the fridge for you! Initially he will ask you for the spelling, but within a few days, he will write a really long list of things he needs!

The School Setting

The preparatory school plays a huge role in inculcating a thirst for learning. This puts your child on the path of life-long learning. Parents at this stage worry whether their child has made enough friends, is doing well at school, etc. As long as the child shows a positive interest towards school, is willing to attend school every day, and comes home looking happy, (occasionally they may have a bad day too, just like us) there is no need to worry, if the child is not writing as much as he should be.

Any change in this behavior such as trying to avoid school, crying at nights, looking unhappy whenever his school is mentioned are indications of trouble. He might be being bullied, or there may have been a change of teachers. His favorite teacher must have gone on leave or someone has upset him at play. Since their world is really very small, these things upset them heavily and they may end up hating their books and pencils, without ever telling you the reason behind their behavior. So having a good rapport with the school is very important.

Other fun ways to deal with reluctant writers

Another fun way to involve kids is "finger writing". This is just like finger printing, but the child dips his fingers (mostly the index finger) into some paint or even some chocolate and starts writing on various surfaces. Some kids are very imaginative and will love writing in the air! Or on a sibling's back. Get innovative and associate writing with fun. And the results will be there to see. Never get upset if the child is unwilling to write for days or even weeks. Praise others in the family, like for example, how papa holds such an important job and how he could become one. Such talk works in throwing a challenge to the reluctant writer.

So happy parenting!

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