By LaToya Dawkins

Our preschoolers have a way of working magic on us. We want to teach, guide and nurture them. We would like to know that we are doing everything in our power to help them succeed in life. In this regard, we make sure they are getting the proper amount of rest, we provide the healthiest foods for them, we attempt to send them to the best schools, and we show them love and tenderness. However, do we ever reach a point wherein we are doing too much for our preschoolers? Is there such a thing? Though our preschoolers deserve our full attention, help, and security, we must not mentally paralyze them. We should provide enough assistance and help for them to eventually do things on their own.

As an early childhood educator, I work with children in large groups, small groups and individually. During these times, it is easy for me to decipher which children do not do much on their own and which are given opportunities to do for themselves. Sometimes the differences between the “independent” children and the “dependent” children are significant. For example, dependent children may not be developing the proper gross motor skills because someone is always carrying them or they have difficulty eating finger foods because someone is always feeding them. When a child is given the opportunity to be independent, delays in certain skills or stages will not be as prevalent.

The independent child is also not afraid to try new things. Before they try a new activity or toy, they will look to their guardian for reassurance but they will be willing to try because they are self-sufficient. The dependent child may not be as daring and oftentimes expect their guardian to routinely do the things they cannot. Dependency becomes a burden to both the receiver and the giver because there is always an expectancy that neither can be without the other. For some parents, their child’s dependency on them assures them that they are loved and needed; however, as the child grows their lack of independence will keep them from pursuing opportunities on their own.

“Serving without Servant hood” means that the person you provide services for understands that you are not liable to attend to their every beck and call. They also understand that the services you provide are temporary and are subject to change over time. The same concept can be used with your preschoolers. It is always helpful to reflect on the things that we do when caring for children. The affects we have on them can last a lifetime.