By LaToya Dawkins

As human beings, there is an adrenaline power within us that is inexplicable. Ask the mother who lifted a car to save her trapped baby or the little girl who pushed her sister out of the way of a moving truck and lost one leg and broke a few ribs. Also, there is a daily power in us that allows us to make it through the day and function effectively even when we are mentally and physically exhausted. Then there is a relational power we exhibit over our subordinates at work or our children at home. However, is power truly exhibited in our relationships? Is it a constant struggle? Do we really have power over others?

All throughout the day, we encounter power struggles with our preschoolers. It could begin with brushing their teeth in the morning or saying sorry to someone they hit. Whatever the scenario, we struggle with them. We try to get them to do, what we want them to. Does this seem fair? Constantly trying to get someone to do what we want them to? The next time you find yourself within a power struggle with your preschooler, there are key principles you must remember.

First, we have no power over anyone but ourselves. Though we have authority to delegate to our preschoolers, we cannot control them. Secondly, we have a responsibility to protect them and keep them safe. If they are determined to do something harmful to themselves or to others we have the authority to intervene. Lastly, our "powers" should be used for good and not evil. It should be used to provide our preschoolers with opportunities and lessons they need to become great individuals, not the individuals we force them to be.

The power struggle can be frustrating but we have to decide not to withdraw from the struggle with our preschoolers; rather, think of the solution or the underlining reason for it. We should ask ourselves questions like, “Is what I am asking too much to ask for?” “Is this important?” “Is my preschooler about to do something that is not good for themselves or others?” “Is this matter worth the struggle?” Asking ourselves these questions before we enter into tug of war with our preschoolers, will give us a rational perspective. There are so many things worth fighting for but the fight is not with our preschoolers it should be for them. In our care, it is their right to be safe, nourished and nurtured individuals.  

Stan Lee, an American writer, editor, and memoirist of superhero comic books including Spider-Man once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” To our preschoolers, we are superheroes. It is a privilege to be a parent or an educator but we should not abuse our power.